A Jumbled Mess

I don’t know where to begin. I have so much on my mind these days. Warning, this post is going to be a mess; I just have to get my thoughts out of my head.

Lately I’ve been questioning myself as a person. I know, I know, I should love myself for who I am and blah blah blah. Yet I can’t help but question some of my actions. I won’t go into the details of it all, but I just hope that I make peace with myself and continue growing into a better me.

Speaking of a better me, academically my college years have been rough. Every semester I start off saying “this semester I’ll try my hardest and reach my full potential!”. Yet every semester I find myself being a lazy ass and letting my grades slip. This semester I started off saying the same thing, but for some reason I feel like I’m actually going to live up to my words. I don’t know what it is, but I truly believe I can do it this time around. Perhaps it’s because I have disappointed myself several times before and I don’t want to again, or maybe it’s just the fresh new year that has me feeling so good. Either way, I hope this feeling of success continues on.

We’re only half way through February and already I feel as if 2016 has been my best year. I came into this year with more hopes and aspirations, along with motivation, than ever before. I started off my year by travelling with one of my best friends, then coming home and redoing my room. It’s amazing what a little paint and rearranging of furniture can do for a room. The new space really gets me energized and excited.

I think part of why I feel so great at this point in the year, is that I kicked off 2016 with my best friend and being productive.

Productivity is something I’ve always struggled with. In the past I’ve just found it so easy to procrastinate and scrape by, and I’ve always disliked that about myself. This year I hope to keep up with my trend of getting stuff done and working hard. One tip I have for you that has greatly improved my year is to wake up early. Nearly every morning I am up and out of bed before 9. This tiny change has had a huge impact on my days. I don’t even necessarily start being productive right away, but now I have so much more time to my day. I am no longer wasting hours lying in bed and getting nothing done. If you take away anything from this post, it should be to wake up early.

My mother always tells me I can do anything I put my mind to; that I am capable of anything. Up until now I don’t think I fully believed her. I now find myself setting a goal in my head and working hard to achieve it. In the past it’s been my laziness that stood in my way. At the end of this school year I hope to read this post and pat myself on the back. I hope to have achieved the grades I want, and score an internship that will benefit my future.

Now I’m positive I had more to say, but amidst writing this jumbled mess I seem to have lost it within the folds of my brain. Not to worry though, eventually I’ll dig it out again and write it up. But for now, this is it. Ciao!

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One comment

  1. abbeymcgrath

    I can relate to this so much!

    Liked by 1 person

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